


cookies

by maddy_does (favefangirl)



Series: carry on countdown 2020 [20]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Idiots in Love, M/M, No Relationship, Oblivious, bamf ebb, but what else is new, ebb knows whats up, everyone does actually, except baz and simon, past simon / agatha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:14:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28068396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favefangirl/pseuds/maddy_does
Summary: Simon works in IT and for some reason Baz's computer keeps breaking.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: carry on countdown 2020 [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026733
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	cookies

**Author's Note:**

> Carry On Countdown Day 20, DEC 14: Technology
> 
> This could be read as a kind of prequel to my post from yesterday, but doesn't have to be.

Simon quite likes his job. He understands computers because they have rules, and if you follow the rules then everything will work the way its supposed to. People aren't like that. People make and break social rules like they're nothing, and it's damn near impossible to follow them. But working with technology means he doesn't have to interact that much with people - a lot of his job is fixing issues remotely, or sending long winded emails answering simple questions because he's always paranoid he's being presumptuous about how much other people understand about what he's saying. Sometimes he does have to go and interact with people, but it's infrequent, and even then he can generally fix an issue in a couple of minutes and be back at his desk in the solitude of his office in no time at all.

That's why this situation is so infuriating. He's marching up to a maintenance request on the third floor for the _third time_ in two weeks. He knows the guy who keeps filing them, Baz, isn't stupid. Penny moans about him all the time, which means he's definitely smart (maybe even smarter than her), so he doesn't understand why he keeps having so many issues with his desktop, most of which he could probably find the solution to himself.

He approaches the desk, and as he does the two men who work next to him both start laughing. He flushes, embarrassed even though it's highly unlikely they're laughing at him. He tries to ignore both them, and the uncomfortable prickly feeling at the top of his spine, as he goes to stand by Baz's desk. Baz looks up at him, rolls his eyes, and slides his chair a couple of inches to the left.

Simon really doesn't get Baz, which, he doesn't 'get' most people, but Baz is even more of a mystery. He's smart, and good at his job, but he's also arrogant, he has basically no friends, and no especial loyalty to the company. Penny says he's a snob, too, and that his family are rich so he's barely had to work a day in his life. Simon hates him on principal, and the feeling seems to be mutual, judging by the way Baz rolls his eyes and sneers at Simon every time they interact, even though 90% of those times is Simon trying to fix a perfectly simple computer error for him.

Like now, when all he'd have to do is press control-alt-delete and close this document manually. Again, Simon isn't sure whether he's presuming too much, but that seems like a pretty basic computer command that most people learn relatively young in life. Baz doesn't even bother to thank him, just hums and goes back to the spreadsheet that's open in front of him. Simon huffs and walks away. His mother's voice echoes in his head saying _manners cost nothing_.

"He's just so irritating," Simon complains to Penny later that night over a Chinese. 

Penny just shakes her head. "You're obsessed, Simon!"

Simon's spine straightens at that. "You're one to talk! All you do is moan about him!"

Penny's mouth opens wide. "Only because _you_ bring him up first!"

"No I don't!" Simon protests, but after taking a second to think about it, he asks meekly, "Do I?" Penny just shakes her head again, and shovels a spoonful of fried rice into her mouth.

Penny may have a point - he may bring Baz up a lot. But it's only because he's so infuriating. Simon has never met someone so arrogant before. He thinks he's so superior to everyone else because he has an Oxbridge education, and because he's got money, and because he's so fit and he knows it. Simon hates that. A little humility might go a long way for him. 

Three days later, and another request from Baz pops up in Simon's emails. He groans, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opens them again, he hopes the notification will miraculously disappear, and when it doesn't he half considers just ignoring it. But, as much as he hates Baz, he does like his job, so he grabs his keys and gets up to go see what the prat wants now. 

He passes Penny's desk on his way, and she just raises her eyebrows at him, amused. Simon huffs, and scratches his nose just to have something to do with his hand. When he reaches Baz's desk, Dev is out, but Niall is there, grinning and trying to hide a chuckle behind his monitor. Simon may be starting to get a little paranoid that whatever he finds so funny really _is_ linked to him. 

Baz's computer is another simple fix, and Simon can bite his lip no longer. "You could've done that yourself," he says to Baz.

Baz arches a perfectly groomed eyebrow at him. "Isn't that your job, though?" he asks, and Simon thinks he can see what Penny means about him being a snob.

Still, he manages to walk away without escalating he situation, which he's counting as a personal win. He knows if he goes to Penny to complain she'll just call him obsessed again and not take him seriously, so instead he goes to his manager, Ebb. Ebb is one of Simon's favourite people. She's kind and she can fill silences, and she always seems genuinely interested in what Simon has to say. 

"Tea," she offers as soon as he enters her office, but she doesn't wait for his response, just goes about making him a cup anyway. "I made cookies," she says, nodding at the tin on her desk. Simon takes one and tries to bite into it, but it doesn't budge beneath his teeth. She laughs, "Yeah, terrible."

Simon sits down and puts the cookie in the bin by her desk. "Thanks," he mutters, because that's still the polite thing to do, and unlike Baz he was taught to use his manners.

"So," Ebb says, sitting down across from him at her desk and placing the teas down for them both. "What can I do you for?" she asks, taking one of the terrible cookies and dunking in her tea.

"Baz," he huffs.

She hums and gives him a knowing look. "Ah, yes, your favourite person."

"He's not..." He shakes his head. "He's annoying."

"You've mentioned," Ebb teases, taking a bite out of her cookie. There's a loud crunch that Simon hopes isn't her teeth.

"I have?"

"Yes," Ebb replies easily, pulling a face and setting the cookie down. "Frequently." Simon starts wondering if maybe he is obsessed. "Don't worry, it'll all work out in the end," she says, wisely, taking a drink of her cup. "Speaking of, I have a date on Friday, so I don't suppose you could cover the late shift, could you?"

Simon struggles to understand how her date could in any way be related to Baz and his unpleasant disposition, but Simon knows better than to question anything Ebb does or says. "Sure," he agrees, because he knows that she would do the same for him.

If he ever had a date, that is, which is highly, highly unlikely. His las girlfriend, Agatha, left for California two years ago and has since met some woman called Jenna who grows vegetables in her garden and makes soaps for a living. Safe to say, that hadn't been he most functional of relationships. Simon had been sure he was in love with her, but given how little he's missed her, he probably wasn't. He doesn't know if he even can fall in love.

On Friday he arrives at work and settles into a night of updating software systems, replying to emails, and drinking excessive amounts of tea. There's barely anyone in the building on a Friday night, so he doesn't think he'll have to worry too much about maintenance requests, and especially ones he can't resolve remotely, but lo and behold, only about an hour after the start of his shift, there's a notification in his emails of someone who needs help with a computer. When Simon checks he can't help but swear because of course - of course it's Baz.

He stretches out his arms above his head, twists his waist from side to side to crack his back, then finally gets up to go see what Baz wants. When he arrives at Baz's desk, fortunately there's no Dev or Niall there to laugh at him, which is a good thing because if there's anything Simon doesn't need today, then it's to feel insecure without knowing what about.

When Simon sees what the problem is, he nearly swears again. "Baz," he huffs, "just press backspace."

To his credit, Baz does blush which would suggest some level of shame, but he still sneers and says, "Well, thank you Snow. Good to know you're not entirely incompetent."

That's it. Simon can't take anymore. "Why do you keep filing requests when you could solve these issues yourself? You're too smart not to be able to do this on your own."

Baz frowns. "Isn't it your job to fix computers?"

Simon flounders. "Well, yes but-"

"Then you should be thanking me," Baz continues. "I'm keeping you employed." Simon opens his mouth to protest, but nothing comes out. "Well, you can go now, thanks."

Simon balks, but has no defence against it, so straightens his spine and walks away. As he's going he looks over his shoulder to see Baz with his head in his hands, leaning over his desk. Simon frowns but keeps walking. He really doesn't understand people. He'll stick to computers for sure.

**Author's Note:**

> Baz is so emotionally constipated and I love him for it.
> 
> anyway, if you wanna leave a comment or a kudos they're much appreciated! especially let me know if there's something you think i forgot to tag! 
> 
> i'm taking prompts! if you're interested please drop the prompt in the comments below. if you do send a prompt be prepared for me to take fifty years to fill it because _uni_ , but i promise i'll try! come say hi on tumblr: [@maddy-does](https://maddy-does.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thanks for reading, have a wonderful existence.


End file.
